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BEATING THE "WHAT-IF"
BLUES
By
Deanne Repich
Do you find
that a lot of your negative thoughts begin with
the words "What-if?" Does one
anxious thought lead to another
and another - only to become a negative
spiral of worry? When
this happens, you're probably using what-if
thinking.
Let's explore what what-if thinking is, why it
promotes
anxiety, and what you can do to beat the what-if blues.
WHAT
IS "WHAT-IF" THINKING?
What-if thinking occurs when you make negative
predictions
about the future, usually starting with the words "What
if?"
Most of us can relate to Juan's story of what-if thinking.
Juan is
running a few minutes late to work. The first thought
that pops into his head
is: "What if I'm late for my nine o'
clock meeting?"
But his thoughts
don't stop there.
His negative thoughts start snowballing. "What if I
walk in
late and everyone looks at me? What if I get nervous and have
a
panic attack right then and there? What if my boss notices
I'm freaking out
and I lose my job? What if I can't afford to
feed my family? Oh no! My
symptoms are starting again. My
heart is racing and I feel like I'm choking.
I can't handle
it!"
As you can see, when you use what-if thinking,
one negative
prediction usually leads to another, and another, and
another.
This negative chain has a snowball effect that leads to
intense
feelings of anxiety, loss of control, and physical
symptoms.
WHAT YOU
CAN DO
Studies show that you have the power to change your
thoughts.
When you change your thoughts, you create biochemical changes
in
your brain that affect how your body and mind feel and
react. In other words,
change your thoughts and you change
your reality!
How do you change
your what-if thoughts? You do this by using
the three "R"s - Recognize,
Replace, and Reinforce.
1) RECOGNIZE. Keep a small notepad with you.
Each time you
notice yourself thinking a what-if thought, write it
down.
Writing things down helps you to slow down and expose
habitual
negative thoughts to the light of day. If you don't take the
time
to write down your what-if thoughts, it's easy to miss
them because you are
so used to them.
The Onion Technique.
The following technique can
help you peel off layer after
layer of negative thoughts and reach the core
negative belief.
I call it the Onion Technique because it's like peeling
off
layer after layer of an onion until you reach the core. Here's
how it
works. When you are in a fairly relaxed mood, take out
your notepad and open
it up to the first what-if thought. Read
the thought and then ask yourself:
"And what if that did
happen? Then what would happen?" Write down your
answer. Repeat
this process of digging deeper several times, each time
asking
"And what if that did happen? Then what would happen?" and
writing
down your answer.
After several layers you will reach your core belief -
the
belief that is at the root of your fears. In Juan's case he
might
reach this core belief: "If I can't feed my family, my
wife and kids will be
disappointed in me. They'll leave me and
I'll be all alone." His real fear -
what is driving his what-if
thoughts - is his fear of being rejected,
unloved, and all
alone if he disappoints the people he loves. That's the
belief
that Juan needs to replace in order to beat the what-if blues.
His
worry about arriving a few minutes late to the meeting will
fade once he
addresses this core issue.
2) REPLACE. Once you've pinpointed the core
negative belief,
decide what your new belief will be. Adjust the old belief
so
that it promotes your well being and reflects the reality you
want to
create. When creating your new belief, make sure to:
-- use the present
tense
-- use "I statements"
-- focus on what you want (not what
you don't want)
In Juan's case, here are several new beliefs he may want
to
use to replace the unhealthy belief:
-- "I am worthy of love, even
when I disappoint others."
-- "I am loved for who I am, not how much I
earn. I love my
family and we will get through life's challenges
together."
-- "Since I am human, I will disappoint the people I
love
occasionally. I can be imperfect and still receive love."
3)
REINFORCE. Once you have chosen your new belief,
reinforce it several times a
day. Say the new belief with
feeling. Believe that it is true, even if only
for a moment.
Think it. Say it aloud. Write it down. You can even
record
yourself saying the belief for several minutes and then play
it
back every night just as you're drifting off to sleep. Just
Just like any
other habit, the more you practice, the sooner
it will become second nature
to you.
Making the new belief a part of your life takes time
and
consistent practice, but the results are worth it. You chase
away the
what-if blues and the physical symptoms that go along
with it. And even
better, you change the way you look at
life!
-------------------------------------------------------------
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR: Deanne Repich is the
Director of the National Institute of
Anxiety and
Stress, a former anxiety sufferer, and creator of the
Conquer
Your Anxiety Success Program. The course is a
"take-action" self-study
program that guides you step
by step through over seventy practical
strategies for
overcoming anxiety naturally. Go
to
http://www.conqueranxiety.com
to check out FREE
sample exercises for
dealing with anxiety symptoms
and to join the FREE "Anxiety Tips"
newsletter.
Kate Clifton
760-458-2151
Info@womenshealth-naturalsolutions.com
counseling@womenshealth-naturalsolutions.com
www.oralchelationanswers.com
www.herbladyisin.com
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Disclaimer: Important- Read Carefully
*NOTE: The opinions and views expressed on this site are from Kate Clifton and
other alternative medicine authors and are protected by
Copyright and Freedom of Speech laws in the United States.
These statements have NOT been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
It is advised to always seek
the advice from your family holistic physician before starting any new herbal or nutritional program.
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